How to get girsl to have sex with you – a description of female attraction

BELOW IMAGE: How Ames Work

BELOW IMAGE: AMES flowing into a woman’s brain

BELOW IMAGE: The flux of a human breeding age female sexual response cycle – in a nightclub environment:

(e.g. why it is easier to pull strangers at 1:35 AM, than at 8:00 PM)

BELOW IMAGE: How a woman’s libido shifts through her 28 day cycle:

(see also “cads vs dads” research)

At peek fertility, women experience the following changes:

• Increased number of miles walked per day.
• Increased probability of going out to a social environment (like a bar or club).
• Increase in miles driven per day.
• Increase in breast size.
• Increase in breast symmetry.
• Increase in mate “choosiness”.
• Increased sexual desire.
• Increased sexual pleasure.
• Increased self-esteem.
• Increased confidence.
• Increase probability of wearing more revealing clothing.
• Increased sense of smell.
• Increased creativity.
• Increased verbal fluency.
• Increased focus on the male’s genetic fitness indicators.
• Increased wit.
• Increased energy level.
• Increased frequency of masturbation and initiation of sex.
• Increased number of sexual fantasies about other higher fitness men (with a more symmetrical face than her spouse).
• Increased probability of infidelity.
• Increased grip strength (measured after reading a brief rape story).
• Increased preference for more masculine faces.
• Increased preference for male dominant behaviors (like disinhibition, confident, and cocky)
• Increased preference for displays of creativity in men.
• Increased preference for a good sense of humor.
• Decreased preference for wealthy men.

BELOW IMAGE: Comparison – who a woman wants to have sex with when she is ovulating, vs. when she is not.

A description of the slices in the above Lovemap Pie Charts

(e.g. what turns women on)

NET 1 – Behavioral Fitness Indicators – Vocalizations
• The art of conversation
• Jokes and humor
• Storytelling skills and dramatic displays
• Witty conversation
• Articulate vocabulary usage
• Banter, flirtation, and charm
• Verbal jousting
• Clarity of voice
• Variation of talking speed, tone, and volume
• Amount of bass in voice.
• Voice volume.

NET 2 – Social Status
• An earned or given title like: King, Doctor, Professor, Prince, Emperor, CEO, President, Owner, Boss, Captain
• Name recognition, fame, celebrity, or reputation
• Pre-selection by peer group
• Pre-selection by family
• pre-selection by other women
• Number of friends, size of his entourage, or the size of his tribe
• Positive reputation of his tribe, city, or country (e.g. “I’m from the O.C.” or “I’m from Beverly Hills.”)
• Positive reputation of his peers (e.g. “I play bass with the Dave Mathews Band.”)

NET 3 – Behavioral Fitness Indicators – Various Types
• Social calibration
• Eye contact
• Body language
• Smile
• Dancing ability
• Musical ability
• Artistic skill or craftsmanship
• Social grace
• Social decorum
• Novel career (such as a night club owner, rock star, mountain climber, jet pilot, Olympic athlete.)
• Sartorial skills – novel fashions, creative attire, fashionable accoutrements and accessories
• Body art, tattoos, piercings, and cultural ornaments
• Problem solving
• Creativity
• Etiquette
• Randomness, improvisation, unpredictability, or a unique personality

NET 4 – Leader of Men (Or indicators of his future potential for leadership)
This network allows a woman to gauge a man’s current leadership abilities, or his capacity for future leadership. These qualities would have been useful in the Pleistocene – where, presumably, the leader of a clan would have garnered more resources, thus securing the safety of a woman and her children. David Buss has noted that ancestral women could not all sleep with the same leader at the same time. Rather, they were tasked with the burden of trying to ascertain who, among the young men of their tribe, would be most likely to be a leader someday. So even if you aren’t the leader of anything, acting as if you are is probably good enough.
• Dominance
• Disinhibition
• Machiavellian intelligence
• Confidence
• Ambition
• Banter and displays of healthy social interaction with other male friends
• Rule over other humans or displays of order giving
• Alpha male status, leader of tribe, leader of entourage
• Leader of her domain (“i.e. the Denny’s night manager cliché”)
• High energy level
• Public speaking

NET 5 – “Health” (Indicators of a low parasite load / free of disease)
• no missing appendages
• no acne
• no visible wounds
• no open sores
• no bad smells
• no bad breath
• no physical deformities
• no tooth decay
• good grooming habits
• no disfiguring scars
• high muscle mass
• Low body fat

NET 6 – Behavioral Fitness Indicators – Mindset and Purpose (Possessing a psychologically sound mind and a healthy outlook on life)
Mindset: “A fixed mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person’s responses to and interpretations of situations.”
In the Pleistocene, any given sexual encounter had the potential to result in children. So it was in a woman’s interest to mate with men who, not only had the physical capacity to provide for her future, but also the mental dexterity to handle any hardships that would inevitably arise. Women would have no doubt favored men who had a healthy mindset, an unyielding core purpose (that persists regardless of her), and a knack for stick-to-itiveness and commitment.
This is probably one of the reasons why women seem to test men so frequently. David Buss has noted:
“Women use moodiness to impose small costs on their mates and then use men’s reactions to the costs as a gauge of their degree of commitment. Men’s unwillingness to tolerate these costs signals that their commitment is low. Men’s willingness to tolerate the costs, and to be responsive to the increasing demands for investment, signals a greater level of commitment to the relationship. Either way, the woman gains valuable information about the strength of the bond.”
(David Buss, The Evolution of Desire, p. 150.)
David Deida nicely surmises the importance of having a core purpose in his book The Way of the Superior Man:
“She Doesn’t Really Want to Be Number One. Imagine that a man must go off to war. He hugs his woman goodbye. She is crying. “Please don’t go,” she begs. “You know that I must,” he answers. They look each other deeply in the eyes.
“You know that I love you,” he says to her. “Yes. I know And I also know you must go,” she replies, and another gush of tears bursts from her heartbroken face. He turns and walks out the door, to his necessary destiny, as his woman, full of pain and pride, watches him disappear. This exaggeratedly dramatic scene captures a profound energetic principle: Although your woman seems to want to be the most important thing in your life, she actually can trust and love you more if she is not.
A man’s highest purpose is his priority, not his intimacy. Your woman knows this. Deep inside, she really wants it to be this way. The woman in the scene above would actually feel strange if her man suddenly said, “I’ve changed my mind. You are more important to me than the freedom of mankind. You are the most important thing in my life, and I don’t care if my service to humanity is needed elsewhere, so I’m staying here with you.” Even though part of her would feel glad, a deeper part of her would feel deflated, emptied, let down. And yet, as her man leaves the door to accomplish his mission, she cries, wishing he didn’t have to go. But he does have to go. And she knows it. If a woman has become the point of your life, you are lost.”
(David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man, p. 32.)

Additionally, spirituality and personal philosophical beliefs probably play some role in female attraction. Geoffrey Miller ponders this question below:
“Imagine some young hominids huddling around a Pleistocene campfire, enjoying their newly evolved language ability. Two males get into an argument about the nature of the world, and start holding forth, displaying their ideologies.
The hominid named Carl proposes: “We are mortal, fallible primates who survive on this fickle savanna only because we cluster in these jealousy-ridden groups. Everywhere we have ever traveled is just a tiny, random corner of a vast continent on an unimaginably huge sphere spinning in a vacuum. The sphere has traveled billions and billions of times around a flaming ball of gas, which will eventually blow up to incinerate our empty, fossilized skulls. I have discovered several compelling lines of evidence in support of these hypotheses. .. .”
The hominid named Candide interrupts: “No, I believe we are immortal spirits gifted with these beautiful bodies because the great god Wug chose us as his favorite creatures. Wug blessed us with this fertile paradise that provides just enough challenges to keep things interesting. Behind the moon, mystic nightingales sing our praises, some of us more than others.
Above the azure dome of the sky the smiling sun warms our hearts. After we grow old and enjoy the babbling of our grandchildren, Wug will lift us from these bodies to join our friends to eat roasted gazelle and dance eternally. I know these things because Wug picked me to receive this special wisdom in a dream last night.”
Which ideology do you suppose would prove more sexually attractive? Will Carl’s truth-seeking genes—which may discover some rather ugly truths—out-compete Candide’s wonderful story genes? The evidence of human history suggests that our ancestors were more like Candide than Carl. Most modern humans are naturally Candides. It usually takes years of watching BBC or PBS science documentaries to become as objective as Carl.
Runaway sexual selection for ideological entertainment would not have produced accurate belief-systems, except by accident. If ideological displays were favored as fitness indicators, the only truth they had to convey was truth about fitness. They need not be accurate world-models any more than the eyes of a peacock’s tail need to represent real eyes.”
(Geoffrey Miller, The Mating Mind, p. 421.)

With the above concepts in mind, let us list some attractive qualities that reflect what ancestral women may have been looking for.

• Optimism and a positive outlook on life
• Intelligence
• Mental stability
• Willingness to set and accomplish goals
• Commitment to a task or an ideal from which he does not waver
• Freedom from existential angst
• A belief that life has a purpose
• Freedom from the burden of the “Shadow Self” (See Carl Jung) or the “Pain Body” (See Eckart Tolle)
• Spirituality
• Prioritization skills
• A life free of monotony, tedium, and clutter

NET 7 – Disassortative Mating (genetic difference from her) and Novelty
We’ve all seen what happens when American girls meet boys with heavy Irish, English, or Australian accents. The female brain seems to crave and seek out novelty in all its forms. Meredith Small has noted that, “The only consistent interest seen among the general primate population is an interest in novelty and variety. Chimpanzee females sometimes take considerable risks to mate with novel mates from outside their own groups.”
(Geoffrey Miller, The Mating Mind, p. 412.)
And, as is quite clear, one of the primary reasons women seem to go on holiday is to have romantic trysts with foreign men. In fact women seem to express frustration if, while travelling, they only meet men of their ilk. For example, one might hear a girl say, “Gosh, I travelled all this way and only met a bunch of American guys!”
So let’s list some attractive novelties.
• Accent
• Novelty of body features (e.g. dreadlocks, different skin tones, etc.)
• Novel mannerisms
• Novel expressions, voicing, language usage, vocabulary usage, or novel pronunciation
• Novel clothing or cultural ornaments
• Pheromones – conveying Immune System difference – “In 1995, Claus Wedekind of the University of Bern in Switzerland, asked a group of women to smell some unwashed T-shirts worn by different men. What he discovered was that women consistently preferred the smell of men whose immune systems were different from their own. This parallels what happens with rodents, who check-out how resistant their partners are to disease by sniffing their pheromones. So it seems we are also at the mercy of our lover’s pheromones, just like rats.”

NET 8 – Assortative Mating (Cultural & Social Similarities)
• Commonalities, similar interests, similar hobbies, similar job, nearby residences
• Similar personality type or appearance to her father – her first male relationship
• Similar personality type or appearance to her
• Similar or better economic position in life
• Similar outlook on life
• Similar religion or spiritual beliefs, political party
• Pheromones – conveying Immune System similarities – “At the University of Chicago, Dr Martha McClintock has shown in her own sweaty T-shirt study that what women want most is a man who smells similar to her father. Scientists suggest that a woman being attracted to her father’s genes makes sense. A man with these genes would be similar enough that her offspring would get a tried and tested immune system. On the other hand, he would be different enough to ensure a wide range of genes for immunity. There seems to be a drive to reach a balance between reckless out-breeding and dangerous inbreeding.”
• Similar height (about 4 inches taller is preferred)
• Similar age (about 3 1/2 years older is preferred)

NET 9 – Copulatory Courtship
Copulatory Courtship (attractive sexual abilities) was no doubt important to ancestral women. Geoffrey Miller explains:
“In a human female with concealed ovulation, a male’s sexual ability may influence whether she keeps copulating with him, and that will determine his likelihood of producing offspring with her. If she rejected him after one or two unexciting encounters, he is very unlikely to father her children…Female hominids may not have preferred thicker, longer, more flexible penises per se. They may simply have liked orgasms, and larger penises led to better orgasms by permitting more varied, exciting, and intimate copulatory positions. This rather contradicts the view of the penis as a symbol of male domination. If we were a species in which males dominated the sexual system, we would have one-inch penises like dominant gorillas. The large male penis is a product of female choice in evolution. If it were not, males would never have bothered to evolve such a large, floppy, blood-hungry organ. Ancestral females made males evolve such penises because they liked them.”
(Geoffrey Miller, The Mating Mind, p. 234.)
• Sexual stamina, prolonged copulation
• Novelty of sexual positions and techniques
• Penis length, girth, and flexibility
• Concern for her sexual fulfillment
• Duration and strength of penile erection
• Tribal rumors, or a reputation for possessing above average sexual abilities

NET 10 – “Beauty” (Genome Quality)
This network allows her to gauge the physical dexterity of the children that a man could potentially produce.
• Facial symmetry
• Proportioned body parts
• Broad shoulders
• Desirable waist-to-hip ratio – “Females prefer a 0.9 waist-to-hip ratio and no higher than 1.0. ”
• Chiseled, masculine facial features (handsomeness) – “Testosterone directly affects the growth of certain facial features, and of the gonads. Testosterone is part of the reason why boys’ faces change shape during puberty (when testosterone levels are high). Testosterone is believed to suppress the immune system and so impose a “handicap” on individuals with high testosterone. If there is a cost to having high testosterone, then perhaps only the “best” males can carry this cost. Poor quality males cannot cope with such high levels of testosterone. Therefore, levels of testosterone in the male face may be an honest indicator of fitness.”
• Height (Relative to her and relative to other males.)

NET 11 – “Youth” (Vitality, Vigor, and Fertility – the Integrity of Sperm Production Facilities)
This network allows her to ascertain the viability of a male’s gametes and is a good indicator of his current fitness. As men age, both the quality and number of sperm he produces declines. A study published in the European Journal of Epidemiology arrived at the startling conclusion that: “children are almost twice as likely to die before adulthood if they have a father over 45.” Additionally, elderly fathers may have had a decreased ability to compete for leadership positions and resources.
Here are a few age indicators:
• No wrinkles
• High hair follicle diameter, high hair follicle count, hair luster
• Taunt skin
• Splotch-less skin
• Good posture, youthful gait
• Muscular frame
• Low body fat
• Sparse body hair
• Stamina

NET 12 – Good Provider (Home maker / Long Term Mate Potential / “Committed Relationship Material”)
• Congruency
• Timeliness
• Decisiveness
• Child rearing skills
• Altruism, kindness, respect, mercy, understanding, caring, and empathy
• Arbitration, compromise, and peacemaking skills
• Vulnerability, humanity, and a willingness to emote
• Honesty
• Genuineness

NET 13 – Resource Access Displays / Conspicuous Consumption / Conspicuous Waste
Do you have to be rich to get the girl?
While resource displays seem to play a role in female attraction, it is unfortunate that this seems to be the only attraction vector that anyone ever talks about. Society puts a ridiculous amount of unwarranted pressure on men to work long hours for the purposes of amassing a cache of expensive objects (i.e. the wardrobe, the watch, the car, the house). When, in reality, these things have limited sexual appeal to a psychologically healthy, educated, modern western woman.
It is my belief that, in the western world, this network simply doesn’t illicit a very strong attraction spike. In the majority of cases, an attractive woman who resides in the affluent west, does not significantly increase her social status, personal security, or happiness by dating a man with financial means. We easily forget that it has only been quite recently in which the world allowed women to: get an education, build a career, sustain her own existence, purchase her own shelter, sleep under the security of a police force, and use birth control. Even a mere 80 years ago, a woman who engaged in this lifestyle was a relatively rare phenomenon.
One need only glance at the stark poverty that women in other countries live with to understand that, having a man with means can be quite desirable. In Thailand, where I currently reside, the goal of many young women is to marry a man with a western passport. For many, this is their best chance at a life free of poverty and hence, resource displays seem to illicit a more powerful attraction response. But if a woman already lives in a state of prosperity and safety, then the effect of this network is dulled.
Geoffrey Miller states:
“Consumerist capitalism says invest all your time and energy according to the delusion that economic success is the only thing that attracts women and the only thing that other men respect. Invest everything there. And that’s very much in the interest of certain powers that be. That’s 99% of what guys spend their time and money on – trying indirect routes. ‘If I only go to Med school and then get a big house, a big car, and then maybe women will like me.’ You don’t need all that and your male ancestors didn’t need that. Everything they had was right within them – sense of humor, language, wit. And how much time do we spend developing those – most of us. Most of us are complete amateurs at that compared to the average Cro-Magnon 50,000 years ago. Why? Because they spent their waking hours doing that stuff. Not sitting silently at school, or in their cubicle at work.”
That said, let’s list some resource displays.
• Personal or family wealth
• Annual salary
• Career type (e.g. doctor, lawyer, investor, CEO)
• Car type
• House size, house cost, and house location
• Quality of home décor
• Costly clothing
• Costly watch
• Costly jewelry
• Costly mobile phone (For a curious discussion of this, see “Mobile phones as lekking devices among human males” by J.E. Lycett and R.I.M. Dunbar, University of Liverpool.)
• Costly entertainment (i.e. Paying for the VIP table in a nightclub or expensive restaurants.)

Oh and I was going to write an ebook to teach girls how to get guys.

But it just wasn’t long enough and only had one picture:

BELOW IMAGE: How to get a guy:

Tagged as: female attraction, girls to have sex with you, how to get girl in bed